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Saturday, August 08, 2015 12:48 am
Resonates listen, ♥
I actually have a certain sense of fear when articles or posts that I see online resonates with how I feel in reality. And I find it pretty amazing, that people do actually think the way that I do (although it freaks me out sometimes). I mean like, sometimes, these thoughts are just meant to stay in your head, to appear at the darkest corners of your mind, to be buried at the subconscious level. But yet, others can be so vocal about it. And it really does scare me a little to know that the world can be a dark, cold and heartless place to be in.
This article I saw on Thought Catalog (its like my best friend or something) speaks to my heart. I'm not depressed (I guess so) but this really resonates with how I feel at a personal level, on a regular basis.
Some of the things that correlate with me:
I'm a naturally sad person. I can't help it - it's just who I am. No matter how much fun I may be having, or how happy I may feel, there is a permanent sadness lingering in the back of my mind. But I've learnt to live with it.
I've come to terms with the fact that I will never feel as blissful as I once did when I was very young. I will always know too much and feel too much and hurt too much. I have a freakishly broad range of emotions and they can be hard to live with at times. But even though I'm a naturally sad person deep down, it doesn't mean I can't feel acute happiness and intense optimism. I am in a good mood a lot of the time. Even if I'm not, I'm able to get myself there and at the very least appear to be in one.
I don't like feeling sad and being in a bad mood and I don't like others to witness me in a bad mood. There is a really fucked up, dark side of me that I don't like people to see.
It irks me to see someone in a bad mood and be unable to snap out of it. I can obviously relate to someone who has an unknown source dictating their emotions without their control. It's horribly frustrating and leaves you feeling defeated and broken.
It is what no one can see. They don't see how I am when I'm by myself. They don't see any dark thoughts.
Just because you don't see the darkness and gloominess on the outside, doesn't mean it doesn't exist somewhere deep on the inside.
Those who can feel the saddest and most fucked up feelings can also experience the most joyful and elated feelings. I appreciate what is around me more, and I can sympathise more with others who are in pain. Pretty much, you don't have to appear wounded on the outside to actually be wounded on the inside. I'm happy, I'm positive and I'm optimistic.
The world is both a beautiful yet hauntingly dark place. And we have to choice but to accept that.
By Kelly Bishop
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Applause, |
| Everything you want, is on the other side of fear. | |